DEVOTION
02/10/06
(Comments in parentheses and emphasis are mine)

Greetings from the Humphrey household! Yes, Kyle has asked me to take over the computer, again! (As his wife … I submitted to his authority! Hmmmm … what a way to start this devotion … about the role of a wife!) Like is his demeanor, he hit the men pretty hard last week but (see What is a godly husband to look like), but at home, he is gentle and kind to the woman of his life. Today, you wives will get the gentle side of our relationship! So, without further ado, let us see what YHVH has to say about wives and their role in a marriage.

FIRST THOUGHTS:

Our society is one that revels in ambiguity. No longer is black and white clear, but only shades of grey. The world has been teaching that men and women are now the same and should act and be treated as such. Fashion trends are placing colors, patterns, and styles previously relegated to one gender as the hottest new styles for the opposite gender!

This teaching has now overflowed into marriage. People have fallen for the lie that it is an equal partnership in which every possible aspect is dually shared by both parties. Thus, taking out the garbage and “bringing home the bacon” (turkey bacon of course) is as much her job as it is his. Also, “nursing” the baby and cooking and cleaning are as much his job as hers. Although these points may be debated as far as physiology or even philosophy goes, there are some aspects of marriage that YHVH has mandated as distinct and relegated to either the husband or wife only. Kyle touched on the husband’s responsibilities last week, so please allow me to look at the wife’s today…

VERSES TO PONDER:

- “Then YHVH God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18) (So, here we have it right from the start … our main purpose in the marriage relationship, as wives, is to be a helper for our husbands. The most basic and critical way we can be this helper for our husband is to pray for him every day. Pray that he will have God’s wisdom and discernment to lead our family in truth. Pray that our marriage will be protected from any attacks from outside forces (possibly from other women who may not be living biblically and telling us to do the same) or from within (disagreements or moods maybe due to lack of submitting … or just a bad day). Pray that you both will grow closer to each other and to YHVH as He gives you a oneness of vision and heart and mind. This is a vital part of our roles as wives. Also, we must realize that we are part of the marriage to help our husband carry out the mission God has given him. We need to make sure we are supporting him and not working against him. We have examples of both in Scripture …

 “When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.” (Gen. 3:6) (Here we have an example of the influence that a woman has on her husband which can be used to work against the mission God has given him. We also see the catastrophic results in our society when a husband and wife are not united in heart and mind with YHVH and work against each other which paves the way to the divorce court.
 “At a lodging place on the way, YHVH met Moses and was about to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin…” (Exodus 4:24-25a) (Here we have an example of a wife who knew the mission YHVH had for her husband, and who worked toward that end, helping fill in the gaps where he may have been lacking. Do we, the wives, fill in where our husbands are lacking?? Or do we complain about them to others and nag about them continually until they are shamed? Speaking of nagging, what does the LORD say about this sin???

- “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.” (Proverbs 19:13b)

- “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.” (Proverbs 12:4)

- “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” (Proverbs 21:9) (We have to ask ourselves constantly, does our husband ever feel like packing up and moving to the roof??? Even if they are gracious enough not to tell us, WE have to examine ourselves. Have we fallen into the trap of nagging, arguing, or belittling him to others or to him in front of others? Remember, we are to be his helper. Instead of working against his weakness or shortcomings, we must pray for them and let YHVH work great things in his character. If we do not, that nagging and berating will only drive him farther away (and of our ideal of what he should be in life).

- “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:24)

- “Wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands” (1 Peter 3:1a) (Yes, the Lord is a God of order and there is to be a “chain of command” in our marriages, as well. We are not to be the final authorities in our homes and we must not try to use our influence to manipulate our husbands into following our own ways or our agendas. Oh, we may think that we have thought out and analyzed the entire situation and must convince our husband to do things our way. (Yes, that is what Eve thought, also). If we take over this position of leadership, we are working against what God has set in place. We must realize that God ordered marriages this way and we must trust Him to guide our husbands to make the right decisions. Ladies, I am not saying that we have no input, but the final decision is to be his. And when it comes right down to it, what a relief that we are not the ones with that ultimate responsibility and accountability before YHVH! We also must realize that our husbands are not perfect and that they will make mistakes and wrong decisions. So when this happens, do we then have the right to say, “I told you so!!”? Not at all. This is when we need to encourage him, bind up his emotional wounds and trust that YHVH will work it all for HIS good because you love HIM and have been obedient to his will for your marriage.)

- “…and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33b) (Although we may outwardly submit to our husband, YHVH desires our hearts to submit, also. This is a command … to respect our husbands. This needs to be an outward display (which will be evident if it is not coming from the heart). This INCLUDES when we are talking about him to others. (This also includes not rolling our eyes when we disagree…just in case you were wondering!))

LAST THOUGHTS:

When we build our husband’s self esteem by giving him the respect that is due him, this will draw him to love and cherish you all the more. When our husbands walk through that door, we must give them time to shed their uniforms of war … and examine their wounds of battle. They are hurting and have been away from the ones they love all day.

Ladies, we must work at being the reason that they want to come home. Our desire is to be their helper! (“… Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16b)) If not, instead, he will only view us as “grief” and “opposition”. If this is how you are viewed, he will run somewhere else during these times of need. He may bury himself in his work, withdraw into depression, or as I have so often seen it, into the arms of another woman. Our husbands need a place where they feel safe from the abuse and feel loved!

In conclusion: So when we hear the door open at the end of the day, we must run and jump into the arms of the man we love! Greet him with a kiss and tell him how much you missed him and are so glad he is home! (Allow him time to change!! Not only the physical clothing, but his warrior clothing, as well) Take the time to write him special love notes to put on the milk jug for when he gets up in the morning or on his car as you pass by his place of employment. Make your home a sanctuary of peace and joy which is a refuge for him from the world. Make your arms a place of security where he finds comfort. Don’t bombard him with a list of all your troubles when he first walks in the door (there will be time for that later)! Train your children to run and greet him, as well. Make him feel like the king of the castle … because he is. But just like the true King acted, so too will a godly husband. This type of husband will actually serve you back … just like the TRUE example (The Messiah) does to his bride (the believers).

Oops! Look at the time … I gotta go. I need to go fix up and get that delicious dinner going … as I wait with anticipation for the arrival of the one I love, respect and help! Thank you for this time though.