STUDY ON:
A Dad’s relationship with his son (the son will be like his Dad).

FIRST THOUGHTS:

What timing! I went to a family gathering with my brother, sister and all my children (now remember, I have 4 boys, 2 daughters, 5 grand-daughters, 3 grand-sons, and one more on the way – as of 07/22/09). All the fathers were to say something that they were thankful for about their children. When it came to my own Dad, he said something that I was proud of. He said, “I want to thank Kyle for carrying on my name by having so many sons.” You see, my Dad was an only child; My brother (at the time of this devotion) had never had any children, and there were no one else besides myself to continue the name. I and my brother, and my sons are … the heritage of my Dad and his name. My Dad had three arrows in which to shoot into the world and make an impact. What about your arrows?

- “Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. BLESSED is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.” (Proverbs 127:4-5) (Do not get me wrong. I love my daughters greatly and they realize that they will actually be the fulfilling of her husband’s father’s heritage. Note: I have done a study on our daughters and recommend that you read it, as well. THIS one is about our sons!)

Do your sons bring you honor or do they bring you grief? I am not perfect, and neither are my sons. When they embarrass me, my heart is grieved and I feel like hiding face for there is no greater pain than to have a child act ungodly in front of the world … especially our sons.

WHAT ARE WE TRAINING OUR SONS:

Are we training our sons to show our Messiah to a dying world? Are we teaching our sons that it is more important to be successful in the world’s eyes … or success in their Creator’s? Are they being trained to treat their future wives in a way that will show the world what Christ did for HIS bride? (“Husbands, love your wives, JUST as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” … Ephesians 5:25) Do they see us fathers instructing our daughters to dress modestly and to speak with a humble heart? They will seek woman that please us, their fathers, in the same way.

Are we training our sons to hate what is evil and love what is good?

- How about wealth? (James 5:5 … “You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.”)
- Are our sons being shown what contentment is? (1 Timothy 6:8 … “But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.”)
- Not to desire riches, but neither to desire poverty? (Proverbs 30:8-9 … “Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is YHVH?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.”)
- How to hate the evil desires of the world and pursue God? (Proverbs 8:13 … “To fear YHVH is to HATE evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.” and Amos 5:15 … “Hate evil, love good.”)

Fathers, do not be fooled … sons often become exactly who their fathers are! If a father does not search for the face of God, yet thinks that he is saved because life is good, carefree and full of wealth … his son will most likely live by this false sense of security, as well. He will be unsaved … just like his father was. In the same manner, if a father fools around on his spouse, or gazes at other women (such as gazing at the cheerleaders as he sits on the couch watching game after game) … so will his son. If a father treats his wife with disrespect or as a door-mat …. So will his son. Does a father mumble at his son’s Mother and make degrading remarks? You guessed it … so will the son to HIS wife. The same goes with drinking too much, or spending excessive time at work … or any other sin … so too, will his sons!

Let us not be fooled, the sins of the father are carried to the third and forth generation of those who hate YHVH! This means that the sons will have the sins of their father’s … on and on this goes. “for I, YHVH your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,” (Exodus 20:5) SONS carry the sins of their fathers! If the father is an adulterous man (that is the sin), so too will the sons be adulterous men (they hate YHVH, as well). The fathers TAUGHT their sons by their very lives they lived out!

- “He did evil in the eyes of YHVH, as his father Manasseh had done. He walked in ALL the ways of his father; he worshipped the idols his father had worshipped, and bowed down to them.” (2 Kings 21:20-21)

The fact is, unless the fathers search and conform to image of the Messiah, most likely their sons will not either. Satan is out to destroy our boys (the future fathers and husbands). For it is the sons who are to become men; who are to become husbands; who are to become fathers … the circle of life continues. For Satan knows that it is the men who are to be the leaders of their household and show Christ in the way they treat their wives. The world is looking on and is often seeing father’s compromising and maligning God’s Word.

WHERE DO YOU STAND WHEN IT COMES TO RAISING YOUR SON?

Are these the type of words that you spend time instructing to your son? (This is King David talking to his son Solomon … instructing him!):

“My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, THEN you will understand the fear of YHVH and find the knowledge of God.” (Proverbs 2:1-5)

The sad realization is that many fathers fall into this next category. So many fathers are too tired or lack the wisdom to restrain their son’s sins. To rid their sons of the folly that is in them. Their sons may end up “good enough in the sight of the world”, yet are lost eternally.

“For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he KNEW about; his sons
made themselves contemptible, and he FAILED to restrain them.” (1 Samuel 3:13)

- I have seen too often sons speaking crossly at their mothers, and their fathers sit there un-moved.
- I have seen too often, sons who whine and complain and get what they want for doing so.
- I have seen sons go out with friends purely to satisfy their flesh (like a lion after its prey, are many sons flesh).

This list goes on and are all sins that the fathers fail to restrain. Read 1 Samuel 3:13 again. Men, you will not find me barking from a couch at my sons. When I see my son treat his sister, or heaven forbid, my wife with disrespect … I get up or stop what I am doing immediately and correct this folly. My sons know they have done wrong AND yet that I love them. Did you get the last part? They know that I love them because of the way I treat the rest of the time!

WHERE ARE WE TO START IN RAISING OUR SONS?

- “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your Word.” (Psalm 119:9)

- “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

- (How much a father corrects his son, may reveal how much he truly loves his son!) “because YHVH disciplines those HE loves, as a father the son HE delights in.” (Proverbs 3:12) But what does it look like when a son is NOT disciplined or corrected regarding his folly? “A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the one who bore him.” (Proverbs 17:25)

- “Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.” (Titus 2:6) To be able to “control oneself” IS to be self-controlled!! We must teach our sons to control themselves. They will be able to turn from wicked sights and thoughts of sexual immorality, to control his tongue, to restrain the sinful nature … THIS is self-control!

LAST THOUGHTS:

Who are the women that my sons are being trained to be attracted to and desire to be married to?

- “Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” (Titus 2:4-5) Did you catch the last part? We raise our sons to be godly men and our daughters to be godly women … each having their own roles to live by while on this earth!!! Why? So that NO ONE can malign the Word of God! Society has let go of this order and now we now have women competing for, and desiring jobs outside of that which God created for them. We have men not treating their wives as Christ treated the church, and families are torn apart. Here is the secret: if our sons can see their fathers treating their mothers with the utmost respect, honor and love, and likewise, they see their mothers submitting to their father’s authority … they have gotten a glimpse of Christ and His relationship to His bride! This is what they should be seeing modeled in our homes. A model for their future marriage.

Fathers, there is a very good chance that our sons will be attracted to and attract the kind of woman WE accept! Our sons will be greedy businessmen and adulterers if we are. Let us be unwavering in our zeal for and commitment to the Lord. Let us not teach our sons to lead their families based upon what the world, or even the church, around us is doing. Let us show our sons that our zeal to know the Lord is higher than any other option in our lives! They will then carry THAT on to their children and our grand-children and we would have shot a bull’s eye with our arrow!